A Care Bear Foreign Policy
So, I was sitting with my daughters watching Care Bear II. The second movie in the series and like most things from the 80s, before they were remade into crap this decade. As I was watching, the strangest thing hit me. Our current foreign policy and way of handling the world is alot like the world of Care-A-Lot! For example, there is this one scene where they are confronted with a moose. (For the sake of discussion, we will call this moose North Korea) One of the bears says that maybe we just need to talk with the moose. So, the little bear wanders out to be friends with the moose, and the moose kicks out weapons inspectors, walks away from six party talks, and launches a rocket over Japan! (Ok in the movie the moose just tries to run over the bear, but you get the picture) And for all those who may say, “It always works out for the Care Bears!” Keep in mind that inevitably, as is my experience with Care Bears, which is only as extensive as I can get away with, the little buggers get locked up and are near death before the are rescued by kids and are allowed to do their care bear stare and cousin call! As masterful a villain as Dark Heart was, I just have to think that if Chavez and Castro have us locked up in a magical jail cell and are ready to obliterate us, relying on the French is a little bit of a stretch. Although, at times, I can almost see Obama, Clinton, and Napolotino doing the Care Bear Stare while Pelosi, Reid, and Biden do the Cousin Call! It’d be freaking hilarious, if it wasn’t so gosh darn scary! And frankly the care meter is heading into the negatives, oh, what are we going to do? And do any of us really think that if this swine flu does turn into a pandemic that Tenderheart and Cheer Bear are going to rescue us? What about Iran, maybe we can just talk to them…oh…wait…yeah. So, you see, we now have a Care Bear Foreign Policy. Ironically, according to Wikipedia, the franchise is about to be sold from American Greetings to foreign interests…hmmm…let’s just hope that isn’t a metaphor.